How do I tell him,
That he never left them,
And he was always in their hearts,

Before beginning each day,
And going their own way,
He's where their thoughts would start,

Seldom a harsh word and many a kind,
Were ever said of him behind closed blinds,
Full of stories of laughter and tears,

And tho they never knew where,
Or how much he cared,
They still loved him thru all the years,

They held so close,
To what they cherished the most,
And that was the smiles he shared,

I know it's been hard,
Not knowing from afar,
And finding the courage to dare,

So dear Dad, this is my way,
Of telling you what we all want to say,
That tho you err, you are judged not,
We're all just glad you've given it another shot,

But I know some things still weigh on your mind,
And most will be resolved in their due time,
Still, I would like to get a head start,
And fill you in on what you've missed so far,

My first years were the happiest to date,
This lasted till 'round 7 or 8,
All I did was have fun at home,
Go to school and play on my own,

A loner by nature and partially by choice,
I've noticed this is common among us Souza boys,
But if you look here, you'll see the lonely trend,
Since it's started, it has yet to end,

See, I knew I was different even at that age,
I just couldn't get into what kept other kids engauged,
I liked reading, science and arithmetic,
I thirsted for knowledge, wanting all of it,

But it wasn't just that which set me aside,
Because I also saw things differently thru my eyes,
My mind was perpindicular in a parallel land,
They saw the hourglass, I saw each grain of sand,

9 thru 13 were tragic at best,
I was just way too eager to face Life's tests,
I wanted to make friends and bent as they pleased,
Most of these years were spent crying on bruised knees,

I also had an anger problem,
And girls didn't help,
It's funny how confusing life gets,
When you lose your virginity at 12,

My home life was horrible,
And I had no reprieve,
Because there was nowhere to go,
When I wanted to leave,

Besides all that, me and Mom were at war,
It never really mattered what we were fighting for,
Much blood was lost and alot of hate was done,
It got so bad that we'd hurt each other for fun,

I was always the biggest geek,
The one who's picked last,
So I took me and my anger,
And learned to kick ass,

14 to 17 were the worst of all,
Each and every day, I seemed to constantly fall,
I got into suicide and using the blade,
I almost killed myself three times a day,

I would have succeeded,
Were it not for love,
And the constant devotion,
From someone up above,

I lost so much during this time,
That it's not hard to see why I cried,
My Honor, my Pride, my grandfather too,
My world was gone and I didn't know what to do,

But still I struggled and did what I must,
Too dead to give up, Happiness or Bust,
Tho, for all my loss, there was some gain,
Because my first true friend was finally made,

I also began to finally see,
What seperated others and me,
And I learned their wily tricks and ways,
How to live in their world and still save face,

18 till now has been a total change,
Because I saw the light on an enlightened way,
Since then my conquest is to undersand,
Just what it means to truly be a man,

Oh yeah, and I can't forget,
College was such a trip,
I was so popular and had whatever I wanted,
I just worked my magic and then I got it,

Much more happened during all these years,
But that's all I felt needed to be said here,
I got in alot of fights, but won every one,
And I've had my share of getting my heart broken,

For you see, the curse on me,
Is that I've always loved too freely,
And that's a bad thing in a house,
Where Anger is the only feeling that's let out,

But the one thing that's remained the same,
Is that I've stayed true at heart and never changed,
For if there's one thing I've fought for and known it so long,
Is that my father, if anything, was strong,

You may say I'm wrong and have no clue,
But that just means you don't see it as I do,
See, you've had the courage to do as you please,
Unhindered, unbridled, only yourself to appease,

Whereas I was on the sidelines for half of my life,
Too scared to even go out and give it a try,
Contented with letting them tell me how to live,
While deep down inside, I wated to fight it,

So you may not know it,
And it may be hard to see,
But I want you to know from the bottom of my heart,
You've truly been a father to me,